im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
