Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
