I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
