after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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