He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
