Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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