so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
