Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
