tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
