Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
