i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
