batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
