No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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