I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
