smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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