dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
