No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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