I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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