OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
