dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
