so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
