i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
