doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
