Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
These tits shall not be calmed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
