so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
