This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Only a mothe r could love this liver
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize