Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
