I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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