how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
