very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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