It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
