Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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