Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
