she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
