Swine flu. Run for my life!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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