mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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