that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
