That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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