Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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