i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
