just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
