And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
