It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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