i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
