I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
