I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My ass is underappreciated
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
