I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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