he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
jump out the window naked night went bad
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