He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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