Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
