So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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